


Forgiveness (is earned)

by AngeNoir



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Dubious Consent, Getting Back Together, Identity Issues, M/M, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-31
Updated: 2018-05-31
Packaged: 2019-05-16 09:54:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14809064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngeNoir/pseuds/AngeNoir
Summary: After Obie, and his kidnapping, Tony shouldn't be surprised he's a bad judge of character.Still, sleeping with someone who turned out to be a reporter, someone who spilled personal information onto the pages of the local newspaper for his fifteen minutes of fame...Tony hadn't realized he wasthatbad at judging people's character.Still, how did that saying go? Fool me once, shame on you... Tony's not going to give him another chance to fool him, no matter how persistent reporter James Barnes may be.





	Forgiveness (is earned)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [camichats](https://archiveofourown.org/users/camichats/gifts).



_Tony curled against the broad chest, nosing up into the hollow of his boyfriend’s throat. The scent of him was concentrated there, and the rasp of stubble against his face was… calming, in a way. Tony wasn’t a very small man, by any means, but this man made him feel safe, secure._

Tony opened his eyes, already feeling tears prickling his eyes. He was lying in the center of his large bed, pillows piled on either side of him to mimic being held.

He shouldn’t have trusted his ability to judge people’s character, not after Obie.

Curling himself deeper in his blankets, he stared at the harsh city lights backdropped against the dark sky of night, and tried to force himself to go to sleep.

***

“You’re a lot quieter, today,” Pepper said, tapping her fingers on the paperwork she had carried into his office.

Tony looked up from where he had been flipping through the latest contract bid from Aerex Corp. “Oh, just tired,” he murmured, rubbing the back of his neck. “Didn’t sleep well.”

Pepper narrowed her eyes, head cocked, and then sympathy crossed her face. “I saw the article. Are you upset because of that reporter? You know they always take things out of context, and the facts he had were distorted at best, with clear bias. You can’t let what they print bother you.”

The article in question – Tony had only read the beginning of it. He had known… he had known not to get involved with reporters. He _did_ know that, had had problems in the past. He especially knew not to read anything that his past dates had written about him.

When he’d seen the name James Barnes on the article byline, he couldn’t help himself.

Mostly because he had had no idea that the person he’d been dating – the attentive, sassy, laid-back man with a roguish smile – had also been a reporter.

He knew, objectively, that people would say or do anything to get the story they wanted. James had definitely seemed interested in his work, especially his company changes, and Tony had thought James was… well, supportive, honestly. It had seemed like James understood the reasons Tony had given for shutting down the weapons division of Stark Industries, but then again, Tony was used to people saying one thing and meaning another, to people not believing him, or not listening to him. He was used to people pretending to support him and undermining him.

He _was_. He knew that it could happen.

But that, coupled with being a reporter, and _writing_ about things he had said…

He had kept James from Pepper and Rhodey, mostly because Pepper had been on her three weeks of vacation, and Rhodey was deployed, but also because it had seemed too good to be true.

(Obviously, that had turned out to be fact.)

He hadn’t wanted to jinx his relationship, especially since he had dated both Pepper _and_ Rhodey, and so they were a bit more intense in the vetting of his significant others than most of his dates could handle. So he hadn’t mentioned James to them.

He was kinda glad of it, now, considering how badly he’d fucked up.

Pepper walked over behind his desk, gently carding fingers through his hair. “If you’re getting sick, you can take off. You’ve been very diligent ever since I got back.”

Ever since he found out that James Barnes was a reporter, and ended the relationship.

“I’m not sick, just worn out. You know how R&D has been, and all those contracts coming due with the crap they’ve been putting out…”

Lifting a knowing eyebrow at him, Pepper patted his shoulder and picked up the stack of signed contracts and paperwork. “Alright, if you don’t want to tell me you don’t have to. Don’t give yourself a migraine over that reporter. He’s got his ten minutes of fame, he’s got his talking points, and then he’ll disappear. You know how this works.”

She walked out, and Tony looked back down at the paper in front of him, seeing the words start to swim.

Yeah.

He knew how this worked.

***

“Incoming call, sir.”

Tony stared at the tumbler in his hand, and then sighed. “Who is it, J?”

“A Mr. Barnes.”

A laugh jerked out of Tony’s throat, and he took another sip, staring blindly out at the night sky. “What is he saying?”

There was silence for a moment, as JARVIS interacted silently with the phone call, and then JARVIS responded quietly, “He wishes to apologize.”

Tony didn’t move, slumped in the chair, the lights dim, the tumbler almost empty, eyeing the scotch bottle and knowing he shouldn’t, and he clicked his tongue softly.

“Well, if wishes were fishes,” he murmured.

He didn’t say anything further, and after a few seconds, JARVIS prompted him, saying, “Sir?”

“Tell him I don’t want to hear from him.”

More silence, and Tony brought the cup back to his mouth, sipping a little from the amber liquid.

“He requests to be allowed to meet up with you, at your convenience,” JARVIS said, voice subdued.

“J, I’m really not in the mood to talk to him, alright? Just – end the call, please.”

There was no more noise, and Tony sat there in the dark, staring out at the lights of the city.

***

It took all of Tony’s many, many years of being in the spotlight to keep from flinching or showing anything except a polite smile, doing his best not to step backwards and away from the person being escorted towards him.

The smile may be a bit too sharp, but who the hell cared. Tony’s adversarial relationship with the press was well known.

“I assume you know James Barnes, Anthony? At least, he certainly knows you!”

Tony let the corner of his lip curl upwards, leaning back to put his elbow on the bar he had been standing beside before he was accosted by these… unwelcome guests. “Ty, what an utterly gauche thing to do, bring a reporter in here. Some of us are eating, you know.”

“We all know you drink your meals, Anthony, babe, don’t throw a fit.” Tiberius Stone, an ex-lover of Tony’s who had not taken the “ex” part well _at all_ , threw a companionable arm around Tony’s shoulders and eyed James Barnes. “Mmm, but you could eat _this_ one. Even I might, especially with such _thrilling_ stories he publishes.”

He had stalled as long as he could – now he turned, slanting as casual and callous a gaze as he could towards James. He remembered James as vibrant, eager – always ready to laugh and joke, and he always seemed very laid-back and in control. The James in front of him was markedly different.

Oh, he still _looked_ physically the same as Tony remembered – tall, built like a brick house, broad chest and one powerful arm, the other arm an advanced prosthesis (what had dragged Tony’s attention to James in the first place, quite honestly), loose black hair cut shaggily around that square jawline, piercing brown eyes that seemed to catch everything – but there were quite a few clear differences. The James Tony had known had been relaxed in his posture, a smile hiding in his full lips, eyes crinkled as if always laughing at the world. He had flirted like a natural, had been suave and calm, shoulders squared as if perpetually ready to take on the world.

The James standing before him had rigid posture, looking almost wounded, eyes tight and scared. He was pulling himself in, trying to take up less space, and his hair looked… less shiny, limp, pulled back in a small ponytail at the base of neck. Bags were deep beneath his eyes, and they were bloodshot.

Not that Ty seemed to see it – he was still trying to talk up James’s appeal. Ty and Tony had, in their university days, a competition going on to see who could sleep with the most reporters they could – Ty must still be pursuing that. Tony, however, knew exactly what James used to look like and act like, and what stood before him was nothing like he remembered.

“Who invited him into the party in the first place?” Tony drawled, turning away from Ty and James and catching the eye of the bartender. Almost instantaneously, a tumbler of scotch was poured and placed in Tony’s hand. He turned around, and caught an emotion flash across James’s face that twisted Tony’s chest. Resolutely pushing the feeling away, he downed a generous gulp and gestured as causally as he could at James, saying, “Come to scavenge on someone else, or do you think there’s more meat to peel from my bones?”

James licked his lips, eyes darting away nervously.

“Ooh, the article must have hit more home than the others,” Ty purred, eyes alight.

“Play nice with him, and maybe he’ll write about you next,” Tony yawned. “But I’m not going to be bored by yesterday’s news – which both of you are. Excuse me.”

He moved away, be very careful to moderate his walk so it didn’t look like he was running even if he definitely was running, and managed to get caught up in a shallow discussion of the latest trends in prints on the runway. Normally, Jan was a dear friend, and he could handle listening to her talk and even contributed – he wasn’t a shabby dresser himself – but he was trying to nervously keep an eye to make sure that neither Ty nor James were following him.

Once the two others apart of the discussion broke off for some reason or the other – Tony hadn’t been paying attention – Jan linked her arm with his and led him to the corner where a waiter was circulating hors d’oeuvres. “You’re really out of it, sweetie. Did something happen?”

He’d already shown weakness to Ty; he wasn’t going to talk about it again. “Upset stomach, love, don’t you worry about me.”

Jan hmphed at him. “I saw Ty. He’s fresh back over from Europe and _so_ full of himself. You should go find Warren instead, or Erik. Stephen is lurking here, too, though I’m not so sure meeting up with him would be useful.”

Tony scrunched his nose at her. He and Stephen were infamous in their rivalry, for all that they were in different fields. “I may go seek out Warren, but you know these circles, darling, it’s never a pleasure to speak to anyone, excepting your lovely presence.”

“You flatterer, you need to practice your lies,” she chuckled, shoving him a little. “Do you want to dance? A spin around the floor may settle your stomach.”

He grinned at her. “You know that’s not how it works, but I’m going to pass in general. I still have to go talk up some investors and be seen networking by my CEO or I’ll get a boot up my ass later.”

“And it’s too fabulous an ass to deform it,” Jan hummed, eyes bright. “Very well, Anthony Stark, I will allow you to leave my presence. Be a good boy, and if you ever need a break, I’m trying to nab old Mrs. Ambrose and get her to invest in a new experimental line, so come find her and you’ll find me.”

He bowed grandly over her hand and sauntered away.

The rest of the evening went fairly well – he successfully dodged Ty and Sunset _and_ Rumiko, as well as Julius and Justin, and talked to at least four of the seven people he was supposed to network with tonight.

When he went to leave, however, a gentle hand curled around his wrist. He turned to see James Barnes standing there, looking for all the world like a kicked puppy.

“No, see, you don’t get to do this,” he said abruptly, voice a low hiss as he did his best to keep anyone who could be nearby from hearing. “You don’t get to date me and then _betray_ me and then pretend like you’re the injured party. How big a payout did you get? How big is your name now? You got your fifteen minutes of fame, everyone talking, everyone focused. You slammed my stock, made it harder for me to push through medical breakthroughs past the investment board, and _betrayed me_.”

“There’s not enough words in th’world for me t’ apologize,” James said softly. “If you give me, just, five minutes, _two_ minutes, let me explain.”

Tony pulled away – and James dropped his wrist, let him, didn’t hold on the way that others may have and had in the past – to fold his arms. “You know, I think I’ve lost the ability to care what you have to say.”

Turning on his heel, he stormed away.

***

At a business dinner, Tony turned to catch the waiter’s attention and saw, across the room, James Barnes. Sitting alone at a table, casting what were blatantly obvious looks Tony’s way.

Scowling, he turned back to the table.

Pepper, keeping her smile up, leaned into him and murmured sharply, “What’s wrong, Tony? This is going well.”

“That reporter,” he mumbled, picking up his napkin and using it to ‘wipe his face’ while he composed his mouth into a faux pleasant expression.

Pepper tilted her head, confused. “The story is done and over with, what more could he want? Was he hoping for a reaction? Our lawyers are working on it, maybe he wants to settle with you. Ignore him; I’ll have Happy escort him out.”

It put a pall on the rest of the evening.

***

Tony took one step into his customary coffee shop, saw James Barnes sitting in a corner, and walked right back out.

***

“If he’s stalking you, New York has pretty good stalking laws, and you know Judge Warther personally. It would work.”

Tony sunk deeper in his chair and stared out the wide windows. “It’s fine, Pepper. I just want to forget it happened, okay?”

“I’m not joking, Tony. You have a right to privacy.” Pepper walked around the desk, looking at him with concern. “Normally you go after reporters with no hesitation. What’s wrong with this one?”

Heaving a sigh, Tony pinched the bridge of his nose. “He isn’t taking pictures. He hasn’t written anything. He _didn’t_ write anything that wasn’t false, as you well know.”

“Which is another curious matter,” Pepper mused, eyes too sharp. “Everything was true. Everything was on the nose. Almost like he had personal info. Did he… hack you? _You_?”

In a way. Tony bit his lip and shook his head. Pepper was sharp, knew something was up, but Tony… Tony didn’t want to admit he had been the idiot who had fucked this up. He had already thrown his CEO for a loop with the canceling of multiple military contracts, or the legal loopholes he used to dance around actually providing weapons. She had to deal with his antics in front of the press, had to deal with his abrasive personality. As much as he regularly disappointed Pepper… he never did it on purpose, and he didn’t _like_ doing it.

Sighing, she patted his shoulder. “Is it a bad time to mention he’s requested a meeting with you.”

“Motherfucker,” Tony sighed.

***

“Okay, this is my _house_ , my _home_ ,” Tony snarled, staring down James Barnes, body tense and tight. “You don’t get to stake out this place. I will put a fucking restraining order on you.”

“And you’d have every right to,” James said immediately. “But I just want to – apologize.”

“For what, my naivete? For believing you when I thought you actually were dating me? For letting me take you into my life? What, what are you _exactly_ apologizing for?” Tony growled.

“Is there a problem here?”

Tony turned to the security guard, who had been watching from the doorway. “Look, buddy, I’ll give you ten thousand if you just stand there and see and hear nothing, okay? Reporters are like flies everywhere here.”

James flinched, but the security guard shrugged. “Whatever you say, Mr. Stark.”

Whirling back on James, Tony eyed him. He wanted to know. He _did_. He didn’t know what he had done wrong, he wanted to know how James could have… could have _slept_ with him, cuddled with him, teased him, with all this waiting at the back of his mind. There had been multiple cutthroat reporters he had known, but none who had played the long game quite so well.

“Fuck it. I clearly have no self-preservation instinct. Fuck you. Come on.” Storming into the building, he walked right over to the elevators.

Behind him, James came up and stood there like a chastised schoolboy.

The elevator ride up was _highly_ uncomfortable.

When they were finally in the privacy of Tony’s penthouse – the elevator went right up, with the right code and scan – Tony made his way straight to the wet bar and poured himself four generous fingerfuls of scotch.

James stood by the elevator door, hands in his pockets.

“So,” Tony said, taking another large swig from the glass. “You’re here. Congratulations. I hope you don’t think sex is still on the table.”

“I am so sorry, Tony,” James whispered.

Tony affixed a look of shock on his face. “Oh, you’re _sorry_? Oh, then, of course, all must be forgiven, correct?”

“No,” James answered.

“You’re damn right, no. Why the hell are you even here? You got your wonderful little expose, you got your fame, you must have been paid handsomely by your paper for managing to stagger the capitalist pig, what more do you _fucking want from me?!_ ”

James hunched his shoulders even more. “I knew it was wrong, when I did it. I just – your bombs, they took my arm. They took my team. They… and then you just stop making them? You just – no. I was stupid. I messed up a genuinely good thing.”

The words were sharper than any of the shrapnel, any of the betrayal felt from Obie, any of the barbs the press threw at him over his reversal of his company. Tony downed the rest of his glass in one go, chugging the expensive scotch and wishing he had the damn bottle in front of him.

“I painted you wrong, in that article. I only showed one side of you. I was so bitter, so angry, so focused that even, _even,_ when I was falling for you, when I… when I genuinely liked you, and knew that things were going well… I was blinded. It wasn’t until I saw… your face. And my first thought was that I wanted to make you smile.

“Except I was the one who had put that look on your face.”

Tony let out a broken chuckle, and it was when he heard his own voice that he realized he must be crying, or near enough to it. “Oh, is that all? You saw me and suddenly were struck by remorse? I’m supposed to believe this shit?”

“I know you can’t trust me, not after what I did. I’m asking only for the chance to make it up to you, in any way,” James said, voice desperate. “I just want – I hurt you. More than I realized, more than I was conscious of, more than I honestly thought possible, and I don’t want you hurting anymore.”

“And if I said I didn’t want you around? I wanted you gone, I wanted you out of the fucking _city_?” Tony croaked, arms folded around him, holding his chest as if to hold in the emotions that were making his chest physically ache.

James stumbled back a step, and then swallowed. “Then… I don’t know when I’ll have the money to move, but I’ll move.”

Tony stared at him in shock.

He didn’t want… he didn’t know what he wanted.

He wanted James back. _Desperately_. He couldn’t understand what he did wrong. But he had been betrayed once. He couldn’t risk it. He couldn’t… James had written about all the flaws in his approach, his lackadaisical nature. He had pointed out Tony’s past, he’d torn him apart. You can’t… you didn’t say things you didn’t mean. Tony knew that. He’d had too many people break his trust.

He didn’t know how to overcome that.

He _didn’t_.

“Talk… talk to me tomorrow,” Tony whispered.

James stared at him a moment longer, and then bowed his head and left.

***

Tony didn’t sleep a wink that night, torn, unable to focus. Multiple times, JARVIS tried to convince him to call someone, to take some of his anxiety medicine, even to calm down, but Tony ignored it, throwing himself into creation, into doing _something_ with his hands to stop them from shaking.

Morning light trickled into the workshop revealing a jittery and dark-eyed man, hollow and still no closer to a decision than he had been when James had first left, his new creation beeping inquiringly up at him. His stomach was both empty and in too tight of a knot to let him eat, his head was pounding, and his throat was parched. He would need to get a smoothie or something that would put nutrients in his body, keep him going. Licking dry lips, he walked down the staircase of his workshop to the main room, where the kitchen was, and stopped dead in his tracks.

James was there, holding fresh coffee and a box of donuts.

“I just – wanted to leave this here for you,” James said quietly. “I’m going, now.”

Maybe Tony couldn’t get over the betrayal. Maybe it would always be in the back of his mind, maybe he’d always be second guessing himself.

But Tony also couldn’t imagine living without James. He’d tried, these past few weeks. He’d hated every moment of it.

“There’s… more than one donut,” Tony croaked out, voice hoarse and rough. “Do you… want one?”

Despite how utterly cheesy it seemed, for Tony, the sun hadn’t really, truly, risen, until that small smile appeared on James’s face.


End file.
